The 26th of January marked the one year anniversary of living in South Africa for myself and the rest of my SA 23 group. It is the most bizarre feeling. While it’s almost impossible to wrap my mind around that figure: one year, it in some ways feels like so much longer than that. I have done a lot of reflecting about the last year, and I am feeling so satisfied and fulfilled.
I believe that in most things – it takes a full year to truly find your footing. I consider myself a fast learner – but to truly understand how things work I believe it takes at least a year. Which is why I am so happy that I have 14 more months here in South Africa, I finally feel as though I have some things figured out.
Thinking back on the last year I have learned so much that while it was happening I wasn’t able to really understand. I had lots of people say things to me like “you must be learning so much about yourself and changing” and honestly when people would say that I would think…well if that’s true I have NO IDEA what those things are. I think that’s because the first year living in South Africa it was basically survival mode. Not in a physical sense (I’ve always felt safe) but constantly being in a state of “am I doing this right?” or “is this rude?” or “can I say that?” or “should I do that?”. It was one uncertain feeling and question after another. And at the end of the day – after constantly being in situations that were new – I didn’t have the energy to attempt to reflect back on the day about all of the things I may or may not be learning. As much as I loved and appreciated reflection time on Alternative Spring Breaks – when you are LIVING an ASB the deep reflective time goes out the window and all you want to do is NOT think about the fact that you have no idea what’s happening most of the time, and if your honest – very little control over anything.
When it hit me that I’d lived in South Africa for a year – it almost felt like a switch flipped and I no longer feel unsure. I belong in this community – it’s my home, has been for a year and will be for the next 14 months (since it’s now almost thirteen months to the day). I have friends, I know what I’m here to be doing, and I can accomplish the things I want to accomplish. I’m so excited about my remaining time in South Africa and about all of the projects and programs I am working on. I no longer always worry if something I’m going to do or say may be interpreted in a certain way. There are a lot of things I have learned about myself and others. I would say one of the biggest lessons I have learned in the Peace Corps is no matter where I am in the world – I can only be myself – and I should embrace the strengths that I have to offer (and continue to work on the weaknesses). I can only be me and there is such a great feeling in becoming secure in the person you are! I’m so incredibly happy right now!
The Year of Action…
So far, 2012 has been a year of action for me! I came back from my holiday with a renewed sense of where my focus should be – the youth. Not only do I love working with youth – but I also happen to believe that if you’re going to make a change – a good place to start is the youth. So – this year my focus is almost 100% youth driven. And, I thought I was busy before…HAH! Now that I have my set schedule down – I’m busier than ever. Throw training for a half marathon into that mix and you got yourself someone on the go 24/7! I’m pretty sure that I’ve done more in the last two months than I did in the first six. So far in 2012 I’ve been up to the following…
Training:
Training for Longtom the half marathon in Mpumalanga. I’m on week five right now, and feeling GREAT! Some days, I hate running, but most of the time I love it. Actually what I’ve decided is that I will never really enjoy long runs – my ideal run length is three miles, but I’m really enjoying the challenge and pushing myself both mentally and physically. I can say that before this – I never even ran five consecutive miles in my life (I was a sprinter after all!). Well now five miles is almost easy! Longtom is a Peace Corps affiliated event, in that it is used as a fundraiser for the KLM Foundation. The KLM Foundation was started by two former PC SA volunteers and is a scholarship for rural South African learners. If you are interested in learning more, or in donating please go to: http://www.klm-foundation.org/. If you feel inclined to make a donation, please make sure to include that you are donating on my behalf. It is an amazing cause – the gift of education has no price really. Thank you to anyone who has donated! The actual Marathon is five weeks away and I am SO EXCITED! Although I am slightly nervous. One friend suggested what great lung capacity I was going to have after training in Africa, which is when I realized, quite the opposite. I’m training at sea level and the marathon is going to take place wayyyyyy up high near the Northeast boarder of South Africa. So much for lung capacity.
Girls Clubs:
My girls clubs started back up again in January, and we just finished our third topic this week. So far we’ve covered the dimensions of wellness (we’re using a model that includes seven dimensions), peer pressure, and most recently healthy loving relationships. I LOVE this project. I look forward to my girls club meetings every single week. My friend Noxolo and I run them at the two local secondary schools. I was VERY worried earlier this year when Noxolo was hired by the Department of Social Development that she was going to have to give up the club. I actually couldn’t believe our luck when they told her she could as long as she reported about them! When she called me to tell me the good news I was walking to town and literally jumped up and down in the street screaming. Literally, jumping for joy. Someone was smiling on us from above! She is PERFECT for this job, and an amazing counterpart.
The actual clubs are so interesting. Each has its own unique dynamic that is completely different than the other. One is a small group, but very close. They share extremely personal and deep things and we’ve really gotten close. They are sharing things that they’ve never told anyone before and it’s really powerful. The other one has a much bigger attendance and is full of sassy ladies. Each one has its positives and negatives. I really enjoy learning about the differences between the two clubs. I could go on forever about some of the things that have sparked debates among us (namely, cheating – we could talk about that topic FOREVER!).
One of the things we have is the “question box” which is a converted shoe box that says either “umbuzo” or “vraag” which are “question” in the respective languages of isiXhosa and Afrikaans. One of the clubs makes me feel like Dear Abby every other week when I have to answer their relationship questions. Each week, the amount of relationship questions seems to be increasing; only they are all asking the same questions just with different words. Most common are some sort of version of the following…“is it bad to have two boyfriends….”, “my boyfriend is cheating, but he denies it, but I love him….”, “I love my ex boyfriend but he ignored me after we had sex what should I do…”. Some of the questions make me laugh; others really stick with you and make you seriously worry about the girl that wrote it. We do our best to answer them the best that we can.
We had an activity today (which we do on some Saturdays). It was a movie day, and since our topic was relationships I thought I would show them The Notebook. No one here has heard of The Notebook which boggles my mind, as it’s such a huge hit (at least in my generation). I cried, as I always do, numerous times. It was only slightly embarrassing. They really liked it and a few of them said they were going to come overseas to try and find a man like Noah…uh, get in line ladies. ; )
Tyhulwazi Disabled Center:
Twice a week I and a caregiver from Ikhwezi go to the disabled school in our location which is just a block away from my house. This place is run by Mrs. Bloko who is a truly amazing woman! They have learners of all ages and all abilities. There is a very large range of disabilities. None of the learners have had any of their disabilities labeled or diagnosed officially by a doctor. What we do with them is give them a chance to get active outside in a safe and encouraging space. We take them to the sports center which is a short walk away and play different games. My favorite to play with them is kick ball which we call rounders (which I guess is a game in South Africa which actually isn’t the same a kick ball, but whatever it works). We don’t actually REALLY play kick ball but we play with the principles and forget some of the rules. For example we let one whole team kick and when the last person has kicked we switch teams. A typical game includes us all having to yell “Baleka! Balekaaaaaa!” (run!) and point to the next base that player is supposed to go to (for almost each player). I have a BLAST with these learners and they make me laugh and smile each time I’m with them. I like playing this best because it gets every person involved and each one has the chance to kick the ball and participate. Maximum group participation = my goal!
On other days if the weather isn’t nice, or it’s too hot we work on an art project. This is slightly tricky because again their level of comprehension and ability is a huge range. The message I’m trying to get across to them is no matter what you draw it’s “right” and beautiful. Unfortunately that message isn’t always conveyed by other people who work there, but I’m working on every time we do a project stressing how “they can do whatever they want – there is NO right or wrong picture for them to draw”. I really enjoy working on these projects with them, although it is a personal challenge for me to find something that can be a good project for their huge range of abilities. (Anyone who has any experience or resources for working in special education I would REALLY appreciate some tools or ideas! I need some suggestions and advice!)
Computer and Life Orientation Classes:
At the beginning of the school year I approached the schools that I have my girls clubs with and offered my services in whatever way I could. At one of the schools that was to begin to teach computer and life orientation classes. For both of these I have made sure that I have a counterpart with me from Ikhwezi. I try not to do any projects on my own since after all one of my biggest goals is to transfer skills to South Africans. And I shouldn’t overlook the importance of transferring the skill of transferring skills. ; )
So far I have taught two days of computer class. On Tuesdays I head to Ukhanyo and (in theory) teach four classes. Both days I’ve only taught three classes for some reason or another. I started with the grade 10s (which there are four classes of). They are pretty great kids. I really enjoy teaching them as a matter of fact. So far, only one boy has asked me for my number by typing it out when he should have been practicing typing something else. Gut reaction which I thought later might have been too harsh was to laugh and say “in your dreams”. Then I teased them by saying they really wanted the number of my counterpart for the class Abongile. Other than that and asking if I have a boyfriend/husband/child there haven’t been any issues. There is one class that is the largest of them (35ish students) and extremely talkative. It doesn’t even matter though – after each Tuesday I’ve obviously strained my vocal cords and have a bad sore throat.
The computer lab at the school hasn’t been used in (ever? a long time?) I’m not sure HOW long. The computers are very old school – Windows 2000 to be specific. I would say less than half actually work. Some days 10 will turn on and work, most recently it was 13 were working. There is no telling. So the students come in and sit two (or more if the class is bigger) to a computer. It’s not ideal – but I learned very quickly that “ideal” is often not what I have to work with. Therefore – we make it work no matter what the issues are. I remember a while back struggling with this kind of thing – and saying I thought I was flexible but soon realized once I got to South Africa I really wasn’t as flexible as I thought. Well, I can say with confidence that I’ve achieved flexible. And now I realize why South Africans are so chill. They’re used to NOTHING going according to plan their whole lives so they don’t ever freak out because it’s normal to have things go wrong. They are also used to needing to have not only a plan b, c, and d but also a plan e. And if plan e doesn’t’ work…well then guess it wasn’t meant to be, and I think it’s close to 1:00pm anyway which is hour lunch time soooo….
Oh I also have to jerry rig the projectors cord to stay into my computer so that my PowerPoint slides actually project. I have to get the computer that doesn’t work next to my laptop in just the right position then set it down on top of the cord to hold it in. The actual computer lessons were created by Trevor – a former? current? PCV here that was kind enough to add them to our flash drive that we got in training. I take his workshops and turn them into PowerPoint presentations. They so far have been really good! (Thanks Trevor!) The kids are really eager to learn about computers so that actually really helps I’m sure. My only other qualification for this job is that I’ve been using a computer since before I was even five years old.
I haven’t actually really started teaching the life orientation classes yet. LO classes are the equivalent of health class in the States. I really want to work with the grade 8s, and LO is the class that I REALLY want to teach (as in, I’m teaching computer classes because the school asked me to – I don’t feel any real passion for teaching about computers but it is an important skill and I realize that. And as a PCV we are supposed to respond to community needs and wants so hence the computer classes.). I want to work with grade 8s because I know a lot of them from SKILLZ last year, and Ikhwezi – and I just really love that awkward age. They are so absurd and hilarious. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of stories once that does really pick up. I did teach it this Thursday, but only because the LO teacher was out sick and no one else was taking over his class (so they would have just sat for the whole period without a teacher and I figured that seems silly when I can give them something) so we talked about our values and our goals. None of the classes were grade 8s but it was fine. It was actually really cool to get to hear their values and see what some of their long term and short term goals were. I feel really strongly about helping out in the LO classes because I don’t believe that they are getting enough straightforward lessons about very important health topics (one in particular - sexual health). Through my other interactions with youth (girls club, SKILLZ) I’ve seen the level of understanding on some critical things and heard the myths and beliefs that get circulated about very basic and important health issues.
Pseudo Guidance Councilor:
At the other school in town the Principal had something different in mind for me instead of teaching. He had an issue with some of his learners that he was concerned about. He asked me to start by helping to talk to the students involved and do what I could to help them. I have not ever been trained as a social worker or as a councilor so this job has actually made me a little bit nervous. (I guess I don’t officially have teaching experience either but I have a LOT of facilitation experience which I think is very similar to teaching so I haven’t been nervous about teaching at all – only excited!). So anyway, this situation is definitely over my head, and I am certainly not qualified to be dealing with the issues that I am, but there is no one else at the moment so I’m making do. The case will get referred to the appropriate people though. It has helped me to realize the larger picture needed at this particular school which is education on what sexual harassment and sexual abuse is.
It’s become obvious that what I and others would consider extremely alarming behavior is neither alarming nor abnormal to the youth of this school. I’ve also realized that they don’t even know what sexual harassment or abuse is. I have talked to the principal I’m going to put together a presentation about these issues that I’ll give in same sex assemblies. It is things like this that I get worked up over and really feel a strong need to teach about.
On the back burner:
Those are the major things I have going on currently. There are other things that I’m trying to work on but they keep getting pushed to the back burner. Our final SKILLZ intervention will begin in March which will just add to my hectic schedule. I’m really looking forward to SKILLZ though – it’s a really fun program. We will be doing it at Ukhanyo with grade 8s (yay!). I say final, but really it’s just the final intervention which is part of the pilot program that I’ve been doing. Hopefully afterwards they give us the “okay” to continue to do SKILLZ with the same materials so that we can expand and provide that program to an entire grade over the course of the year instead of just one group of 30 or so learners. Other things in my thoughts: planning Camp GLOW for September, coming up with projects for when I work with another local organization this year, and projects for when Allie my college roomie of four years comes to visit in July! This year is going to be so epic!
If you're going to be passionate about something, be passionate about learning. If you're going to fight something, fight for those in need. If you're going to question something, question authority. If you're going to lose something, lose your inhibitions. If you're going to gain something, gain respect and confidence. And if you're going to hate something, hate the false idea that you are not capable of your dreams.
- Daniel Golston
Ps. Fun story from last night: You know that sensation that you get on the back of your neck where it feels like something is crawling on you? But usually it’s just a stray hair or something? Well last night at 3:30am I woke up to that sensation on my neck. I jolted up, and after turning the lights on and checking under pillows I found what I feared: a large cockroach. I shudder just now thinking about it. Anyway, I killed it with my flip flop, or at least I think I did. I couldn’t find the body which was really weird, but it probably fell under my bed. The best part is my attitude. I was/am disturbed, but…whatever. I would rather a spider be on me than a cockroach, but what can you do? I’m just going to use this as a reason to believe that – I’ve had this horrible thing happen – and I have to believe that a huge cockroach will not ever walk on me in my sleep again. I mean – what are the odds?! That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it!
