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| SA 23 Community HIV/AIDS Outreach Project Volunteers 2011-2013 |
As I write this my
countdown on my calendar tells me I have 19 days left in Alexandria.
As my time winds down I’m struck at how complicated my feelings are
towards leaving. Some days I think with
joy and relief: only 19 days to go!
Other days the number makes me panic and wish I had another two
years. Usually I get both of these
feelings within the same day, even within minutes of each other. I’ve been thinking about all the things I
will miss and all the things I won’t and wanted to share them with you.
I’ll start with the things
I’m not going to miss once I leave South Africa. I will not miss…
- Children harassing me (which is happening right now as I write this: “Zoleka, do you have sweeties?”), cockroaches, bathing in a bucket, hand washing clothes, line drying clothes, burglar bars, not going out after dark, marriage proposals, electric fences, no air-conditioning, no central heating, bad internet, not understanding 50% of what is said at any given moment around me, and trash everywhere.
- The following things I have had experiences with in South Africa and even though I know these issues exist in the United States I will not miss: blatant racism, violence against women, child abuse, animal abuse, and living in poverty.
- My host family. My host sister Phakama and her little boy Qhama who recently turned five. Qhama just started kindergarten this year and his English is getting better. I’m going to miss him coming home from school and saying shyly “Look Alana!” as he shows me his school work.
- My friends and South African “families”. I’ve made some amazing friends here in South Africa and I’m so sad to be leaving them. I can’t imagine not seeing my friend Noxolo weekly for our Girls Club and catch up session where we share things going on in our lives. She’s been an amazing support to me and I’m going to miss her dearly. Most of my friends here are people who I’ve worked with on projects and they know me the best – it will be hard to say goodbye to them. I have two families that have “adopted” me since I’ve been here. Both are going to be heartbreaking to leave. My South African moms have taken care of me like their own daughters. Feeding me dinner, buying me medicine when I was sick, sharing South African life with me and allowing me to become part of their lives. I’ve gone from having no sisters to being the “American sister” of six of them! I hope that one day I can show them the same kindnesses they showed me and some of them can come visit me in the States!
- My Ikhwezi co-workers. Despite them occasionally driving me crazy, they all have good, kind hearts. They make me laugh daily and I’ll miss them terribly.
- The youth I work with. The disabled learners, my girls from Camp GLOW and GLOW clubs, the orphans and vulnerable children that come to my organization, the neighborhood kids, SKILLZ participants, and my students. I can’t even remember what it’s like to not interact with these amazing young people daily. I wish I could grant wishes, and make all of theirs come true. I wish I could solve their problems, and protect them, and see that they all reach their goals. I know that they were fine before me, and they will survive on their own without me, but I’ll be thinking of them and sending them love for the rest of my life. I will worry about them, and hope that they continue to believe in themselves no matter what.
- South Africa. The people. South African’s are so quick to laugh and make friends. They welcome you with open arms, are amazingly generous, and support you like you’re family the instant they meet you. I’ll miss the name Zoleka and being greeted by everyone I see on the street with a smile and “Molo, MyZo!” The beauty of this country. The ocean, rolling green hills, the brightly colored houses that line the streets. The beautiful trees and flowers that bloom all year round. The long summer days. And the sky that’s the bluest blue you could imagine.
- My Peace Corps friends. I wouldn’t have been able to get through the last two years without the friendship of my amazing fellow Peace Corps Volunteers. When you’re questioning your sanity, or just need to complain to someone about how a massive cockroach just woke you up in your sleep, the only people to turn to are other PCVs. They are the only other people who understand exactly what you mean without having to go into a long explanation.
- The little things: Nando’s Peri Peri sauce, my little room, Hungry Eye’s delicious chips, being a local celebrity, biltong, children harassing me, milk tart, walking everywhere, my street, Algoa FM, my neighbors, South African slang, and probably a million other things I’ll only realize once they aren’t a part of my life anymore.
As I explained above the
weirdest thing about ending Peace Corps service is the daily contradictory
waves of emotions you get. I’m
incredibly sad to be leaving. I’m beyond
excited to come back to the United
States.
I don’t want to leave my new families and friends. There is nothing more I want than to see my
family and friends after two years. I
can’t imagine not living here anymore yet I think about the United States
and all the things I want to do there on a daily basis. It’s the most pure and true experience of bittersweet
that I’ve ever had. I am satisfied and
proud of my service, and I know it’s time to move onto the next chapter but now
that the time has actually come, it feels impossible to leave.
After I leave Alexandria I head up to Pretoria to finalize the end of my service
along with several other volunteers from our group. Some people from SA 23 have already gone back
to the States, others are staying in South Africa longer. I’m ending my service on the day we always
knew we would – and there are a lot of us who didn’t change the plans. It will be good to get the opportunity to
work through all this with my fellow SA 23s.
After March 22nd – my last day as a Peace Corps Volunteer –
my friends and I will begin our travels around Southern
Africa for the month of April.
I am really looking forward to this, but it’s on the back of my mind as
I get ready to say goodbye to my community.
“There will come a time
when you believe everything is finished.
That will be the beginning.”
- Louis L'Amour
- Louis L'Amour
This post is dedicated to
Aya – my friend. We will always miss you.
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